Rello is a kitsune with the power to grant wishes to those with pure hearts. But, when he isn’t paying attention to his surroundings he accidentally grants a wish to a young child that breaks the world.
Careful What Wish You Grant
By CalexTheNeko
Rello lay in the grass staring up at the sky feeling a sense of great boredom. The kitsune was in his human form, well mostly human form. He still had his fox ears and tail, their orange fur slightly off from his red hair. Most people didn’t pay attention enough to notice they were real. Most people were just too busy with their lives to notice much about anyone else. It wasn’t because humanity was inherently heartless or selfish. The world had just become a busier place overall. There simply was no longer time to notice the magic in the world.
And so people who saw Rello, just saw a normal teenager in a black hoodie, wearing a bandanna over his mouth, who was probably into cosplay since he was wearing ‘ears’ everywhere. If they did somehow notice his ears and tail moved, they likely assumed they were one of those brainwave-controlled headsets. Rello supposed he couldn’t fault them But, it did create a strange paradox of a more chaotic world somehow being duller.
“Hey, whatcha doin’ mister?” A curious voice asked from somewhere nearby.
“Mister?” Rello questioned. That wasn’t something he got called a lot. Sure, he was technically older than every living human on Earth. (Discounting anyone that may have had a magically extended lifespan or be immortal) But most people still saw him as a kid. He slowly sat up to see who had addressed him. It was a child, they looked quite young, probably still in kindergarten. Maybe even preschool.
“You okay?” The kid asked. He was a short boy, dressed in simple t-shirt and shorts, wearing a pair of Velcro sneakers and a backpack. “You looked… Kind of… Out of it.”
“Huh… I guess it’d look like that.” As Rello spoke, it almost seemed as if he was looking past the kid instead of at them. Rello hadn’t zoned out, he was aware of his surroundings. He just, didn’t have anything to do right now. At all. Sometimes days like this happened. He supposed given how busy the world was he should appreciate them. But maybe it was because the world was so busy he couldn’t. What good was day off when the rest of the world was still going full speed?
“Something wrong mister?” The boy asked.
“No… Not really.” Rello laid back down in the grass. If nothing else, at least it was a nice day. And a nearby tree cast a gentle shade over him keeping it from getting too hot. “Just nothing to do right now.”
“Don’t you got to go to school too?” The boy asked.
“Not really.” Rello suspected explaining that he had already had his education over what would have been a couple thousand years to humans would be lost on the child. “I’m kind of a special case.” He tried to think of a way to explain it to the kid that would make sense. “I graduated early.” He supposed it wasn’t a lie. A lot of time was just perspective. And from the human perspective, he was considered a teenager. Human kids his age, well, equivalent to his age would be in high school.
“So, you don’t have to go to school anymore?” The kid sounded jealous “Lucky.”
“Uh huh…” Rello stared back at the sky. Whoever the kid was, they’d probably be leaving soon to get to their own schooling.
“School is stupid.” The kid muttered.
“That so?” Rello knew better than to try to argue with a kid this young. They weren’t going to understand the importance of getting an education till they were much older. Then again, some adults still didn’t understand the importance of an education. These were usually the ones who somehow went through the entire school system without learning a single thing, and then bragged about how they never used anything they learned in school. As if not knowing how to do basic things like how to calculate a 20% tip was some badge of honor. Humans were weird.
“Yeah! I could play with friends all day instead!” The kid insisted. “We could play in the park, or some board games or other stuff.” The kid paused. “I mean games make more sense and are easier to understand than school anyway.”
“Hmmm?” That didn’t sound right to Rello. If he was right about the kid’s age, then they should be learning stuff like their ABCs still. Considering most board games would require being able to at least read the rules he felt like knowing what letters were was kind of a required first step. He had to ask. “How would you play games if you didn’t learn how to read and write properly in school? Usually there’s a rulebook or something.”
“Nah!” The kid sounded smug. “I got my parents to tell me how! And the cards just show colors that show what space you move too!” The kid of course seemed completely unaware of the fact that to read him the rules his parents had to have their vocabulary lessons first too. But again, he was a young kid, Rello didn’t expect him to understand a lot. “Ugh… Bus is here.” The kid’s voice turned sour. “I gotta go mister.”
“Sure…” Rello didn’t especially care. He didn’t know why the kid had decided to talk to a random stranger. Usually that was something young children were told not to do. He went back to staring at the sky, not even able to see the kid as he got here.
“Wish school and stuff could be more like one of my games.” The kid muttered. “Then it’d just be fun and adventure, and no homework.”
“Uh huh… Wouldn’t that be something.” Rello muttered as he felt a bit of magic leave him. He continued to stare into the sky as he heard the sounds of a bus stopping, and starting up a few moments later. And like that the kid was gone, on his way to school. Now Rello was at peace again.
With still nothing to do.
Well, maybe just having a day to relax wasn’t so bad. He could just-
WAIT!
What had he just done? Rello sat straight up and looked around. The landscape around him was changing, becoming more colorful. Suddenly, giant lollipops sprouted from the ground, growing as large as trees. What had happened? A bit of magic had left him… And… Dang it! He hadn’t even been paying attention! When the kid had made a wish, his powers had kicked in and he had granted it without even thinking about it.
Granting wishes was basically Rello’s specialty. Accidents because of wishes not being well thought out were not uncommon. But granting a wish on accident wasn’t something that really happened. At least not often. The simple fact was for the most part, it was easier to grant the wish of someone who was pure of heart. And that cut a large chunk of the population out immediately from having his powers work properly. But kids? When they were really little, they weren’t really aware enough to be truly good or bad yet. As a result, children were pretty much considered pure hearted by default until they got old enough to understand the consequences of their actions. And so, with Rello being as bored as he was, and barely paying attention to what was going on, he had reached out with his magic and granted the kid’s wish.
What had he said? Rello had barely been paying attention. The wish was something about a game. Or was it school? Possibly both. But, the world was becoming even more colorful. The small park Rello had been in had suddenly become an enormous forest made out of candy. Lollipops stood tall, with vines made out of licorice dangling from them. Whatever the kid’s wish was it was impacting all of reality.
If Rello was lucky, this would just be a localized event. And not something that would impact the entire world. But, that didn’t make it any less of a problem. The kitsune stood up and looked around. He hadn’t been far from the street a few minutes ago, now he couldn’t tell which direction would take him out of this lollipop forest. This wish was a problem. He needed to reverse it and fast…
But the magic that was powering the wish had already left him. It was with the kid. He was going to have to find the kid and get him to undo the wish. Okay, how hard could that be? He hadn’t been paying attention so only had a small recollection of what he looked like. He hadn’t gotten a name, or the name of what school the kid went to. It was best to start with what he knew.
The kid was a boy.
He was probably in kindergarten.
And he was currently being taken to his school, or at least whatever his school was now. Given the wish had turned the park into a candy forest he doubted the school was still there. But, going to where the kid’s school had been just might be the fastest way to find him.
So, all he had to do was find one nameless boy from the entire city’s population of kindergarten students, go to the right school, and then convince him to undo the wish. Or, if things got really bad, try to take the magic powering the wish back by force. That would be plan B. Even if it wouldn’t physically harm the kid Rello wasn’t really comfortable using raw force with a small child.
Alright, this was a problem. A lot of people were probably either freaking out, or in a large amount of denial right now. But he could fix this as long as he found the kid. He didn’t know how to do that, but he would just have to take things one step at a time and figure things out as he went. The first step, getting out of the candy forest. He wasn’t going to be able to do much good in here.
Rello chose a path he was fairly certain went in the direction he had heard the bus in. That had to be the park exit, and thus the forest exit. Yet, as he walked through the forest, it kept going, seemingly forever. And several time he came to crossroads with several paths to choose from. He was getting a rather uncomfortable feeling about this. The third time he ran into one he decided to test a theory. One of the lollipop trees he quickly grew a claw and push a small scratch in it to mark it. Then he continued down a path. A few minutes later he was at the crossroads again. He looked around the area, and just as he suspected, the lollipop he had marked was there. He was just going in circles. Well, more likely non-linear geography was at work here. He had technically walked in a straight line. But he always ended up back where he started. So how did he get out?
He was sure the wish had been about a game. If that was it, there had to be some game logic to it. Was it lose a few turns spending time lost in the forest? If so, how much time constituted a ‘turn’ in real life? Or was it some kind of puzzle? Or more likely a guessing game. One path would take him out while the rest would all just bring him back here. Both possible scenarios. Sitting around waiting for a ‘turn’ to end wasn’t going to accomplish much. If he started searching for a way out, maybe he’d find it. If game logic was running the world now and he had to waste turns or something in the forest, then those turns would still pass even if he was looking for a way out.
He needed to form a system. There were eight paths in total leading out of this section of the forest. Any of them could be the exit. He couldn’t even discount the path he had just come from. There was only one way to do it. He was going to have to find a path and mark it off as he did. Rello started with the first path on his left. As he stepped onto the path, he stopped at the largest lollipop tree along it. He took the time to scratch a large X into it so if he came to the crossroads again he’d know he had already been down that way.
Sure enough, a few minutes later he found himself at the crossroads. One path eliminated, seven more to try. He decided to go counterclockwise. After finding a spot to mark his next chosen path, he returned to the crossroads yet again. Six paths left it could be. Once more, he chose a path and marked it.
This time, the scenery changed, the forest gave way, and he found himself stumbling onto a colorful road. It was comprised of several large stone slabs, each one a different color from the ones connecting to it. Rello could make out red, blue, yellow, green, orange and purple places on the road. Other than no two of the same color touching, there didn’t seem to be any specific order or pattern to them. They seemed to just be completely laid out randomly. Just like the spaces on a game board.
The wish was definitely about a game. Rello was piecing it together now as he recalled bits of the conversation. From the looks of things, the world had just transformed into a giant board game. At this point it was doubtful he would even recognize any parts of the city. So, what did he do now?
He looked down the path. He might actually be able to use this to his advantage. If this was a game, there had to be a goal. Since Rello remembered both the school and the wish being mentioned, he was certain both were at the center of the wish. So… If he followed the colorful road all the way to the end there was a high chance it would take him to the kid’s school. Or at least whatever the school was now. And if he was wrong… Well, if the kid realized the world was a game now, being a kid, he’d probably try to win it and head for the end anyway. Getting to the end of the game was the best thing he could do now, at least until a better idea presented itself.
From the looks of things, this was a very simple kid’s game. So how hard could it be to reach the end? Rello followed the road, carefully examining his surroundings that anything might be important. No part of the world was recognizable from what it had been. Even the sky was different. The sky looked like it was a sheet of paper, hastily scribbled blue in crayon, with puffy clouds drawn throughout it. There was the sun, which under normal conditions Rello would have been smart enough not to stare into. But the sun looked like a drawing, much like the rest of the sky and didn’t actually radiate any light. It brought up a lot of questions about how there was any light or warmth. Well… Rello supposed that was because the world had been remade by a kid. He probably didn’t think about the various laws of physics the worlds ran on. Everything just worked. No point questioning it.
That really gave Rello a bad feeling.
Following the rainbow colored road, the Lollipop Forest was left behind and soon he found himself entering a mountainous area. The mountains were a light black, and had a strange texture. As Rello approached the trail leading up then he stopped, knelt down and touched the ground. It was soft, and cold. He could scoop some of it up but it was sticky. It was ice cream. He was scaling a giant mountain of ice cream.
Rello shook his hand to dislodge the chocolate ice cream from it and glanced at the mountains. Perhaps this was some kid’s dream, all the ice cream they could eat. But this was a mountain trail meant for people to cross. Did they really want to eat ice cream that people had been walking all over? Who knew what had been tracked through this? Well… Probably not much yet given this world had just come into existence. But given time. And… Would the mountains eventually melt?
Things Rello really didn’t have time to be trying to figure out the answer to. But as he tried to follow the mountain trail he quickly discovered a problem as his shoe sank into the mountain.
“Ugh. Wonderful.” He muttered. “Hiking through ice cream. Bad as wading through mud.” Rello could see the colorful road heading through the mountains, but the road ceased to be made of bricks and instead were just colored patches of ice cream as it went. This was a huge pain. And, if the ice cream did start to melt would he sink into it and get stuck? Maybe he could go around the mountains? But as he glanced in either direction they extended on as far as he could see. However, something else caught his eye.
The mountain was dotted with small rocky portions. One was near Rello, and he climbed up on top of it. As soon as he did the aroma hit him, and he realized what it was. They were bits of chocolate throughout the ice cream. Something else that could also melt and get sticky, but was at least more solid to work with than the actual ice cream. As Rello studied the location of the other giant chocolate pieces he saw they weren’t far apart. With a bit of balance, timing and acrobatic skill he could hop from one chunk to the next and make his way up the mountain.
He decided to go for it. He didn’t trust there not to be some kind of trap in the ice cream that would made him sink into it halfway up the mountain. Fall into a chocolate syrup pit. Lose a turn. This felt like the type of game where things like that happened. Besides, running and jumping between the giant pieces of chocolate proved to be much faster than trying wading through the ice cream. It only took him a few minutes to reach the top of the mountain. Which… Felt wrong. The ice cream mountains were just as tall as mountains in normal reality. Even if Rello was a bit more capable than a human, there was no possible way he had gotten all the way to the top in just a matter of minutes…
Unless… He looked at the colored patches of ice cream. If this were an actual game, the board would be flat and moving a token through a picture of the mountains would be no slower than threw the forest. He had been wondering if ‘turns’ were a thing since the world first changed. If they were, then could that have sped up his progress? It was his turn, and he moved enough spaces to get to the top so arrived almost instantly? It was the only thing that made sense. Magic was clearly at work here, and Rello hadn’t cast any new spells since accidentally granting the wish.
At least going down the mountain should prove easy.
Except, there was a loud moaning sound. Rello spun in place to see that one of the mountains the side had been hollowed out creating a cave. What emerged from it was a monstrous, yes strangely colorful snowman. The thing had a mouth full of wicked teeth and sharp fangs, as well as pair of menacing yellow eyes. Its body was made of snow, though painted every color in the rainbow, and it wore a large cone top its head like a cap and-
And Rello immediately realized he knew this things name. The Abominable Snow Cone. Because of course that was what it was called. So, how did this thing interact with the game rules? It wasn’t like board games had boss fights. Well, at least not these types of board games.
“ROAAAAAWWWWWWWR!” The Abominable Snow Cone let out a roar before making a throwing motion with its arm. Multicolored snow flew from its arm, shaping into icicles as they headed straight for Rello.
“This is what I’m dealing with.” Rello leaped to another chocolate bar piece. As he did, it wobbled unsteadily as he landed. Looking down, he saw the ice cream looked more like a soup here. It was melting. At least at the top of the mountain. From what he could see the sides were still fine. How deep was the melted ice cream? A few inches? Or maybe deep enough to drown it. It was hard to tell the depth when the liquid was a milky brown. It was probably best not to find out.
“GROAWRL!” The Abominable Snow Cone shouted, then grew claws from its arms and leaped to the same giant piece of chocolate that Rello was on before swiping at him.
“Ugh…” Rello moved back. The piece of chocolate wobbled in the melted ice cream. Now he had to deal with this thing in his face and keep his balance. “You might be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever delt with.” Rello jumped backwards as the thing swiped at him again. He was being moved back the direction he had come. This thing was blocking his progress. “I can’t believe I’m indulging this nonsense.”
“ROAAAWR!” The Abominable Snow Cone leaped through the air again, chasing after Rello. But this time it didn’t get a chance to land.
“Fox Fire.” Rello held out a hand as a small burst of flames shot forth. His powers may have been a tad specialized, but he was still a kitsune. And all kitsune had some basic powers. It may not have been as impressive as granting a wish, but against a monster literally made out of ice, well there was only one outcome. The Abominable Snow Cone turned to a rainbow color liquid before pouring into the melted ice cream. There was one unintentional side effect. The piece of chocolate he was standing on had also started to melt. Rello quickly leaped back to another one as the chocolate chip sank beneath the surface of the ice cream lake.
Well, that problem was solved at least. Hopefully this world didn’t have too many monsters like this. Normal humans without magic might have a harder time.
And that was when it hit him. The kid whose wish he had granted. If he was playing this game made reality, then his life was in danger. Rello had magic to defend himself. The kid was well, just a normal human. Probably. Rello hadn’t gotten a good look at him. But, if he was going to normal human school it was doubtful he was a magical creature in disguise. Rello needed to pick up the pace. And hope that his guess on where to find the kid was right.
But as one problem was solved, a new one presented itself. The chocolate chips had been arranged close enough to jump between, almost like steppingstones across the ice cream lake. But, with the one melted by Rello’s flames one of those stones was now missing. The distance was now too far for him to jump.
Rello took a few steps back. The chocolate pieces were big enough for him to walk around on a little. If he got a running start, maybe he could make the jump? But as he approached the edge of the piece, it wobbled, threatening to throw him off balance and into the ice cream lake. The platform wasn’t stable enough for him to get a running start. And he didn’t see himself making the distance without one. But… Aside from the fact that it would be absolutely disgusting, he had no idea what the physics of this lake actually were. The normal laws of physics weren’t in play right now. Maybe he could swim, or maybe he’d sink to the bottom. Perhaps if he went back the way he had came he could find a way around the lake?
Rello studied the rainbow colored ice cream that had led him here. He had a feeling that wouldn’t work. There seemed to be only one path forward to actually progress. And it was following this road. If he tried to go around any other way he would no doubt find himself reaching some kind of dead end. Maybe he could build a raft of some kind? There was the lollipop forest… But if he was right about the kid being in danger that was a lot of time for backtracking and-
And why would he build a raft when he was already standing on a perfectly suitable one? The chocolate pieces floated throughout the lake. He just needed some kind of oar to get it moving. Or, at least just a long stick. But what was he going to use when everything was made of candy and sweets. Again, going back to the Lollipop Forest would take too much time. He glanced around his surroundings looking for anything suitable.
And then he saw it. The giant cherry on top. There was literally a giant cherry on top of the mountain of ice cream. It was further up the slope from the lake. Because this was some kid’s image of an ice cream sundae, so why wouldn’t there be a cherry? The thing was bigger than Rello. He was willing to bet the stem of it would be sturdy enough to be an oar. He just had to get it down from there.
“Well… It already worked once.” Rello created more fox fire. He was very careful to hold his hands up high and keep the heat away from the piece of chocolate he was floating on to avoid melting a second one. Instead, he flung the fire at the slope of still solid ice cream the cherry was sitting atop. It began to drip. Rello threw more fire, and slowly the side of the mountain gave way and liquid game gushing down. The entire lake shook as it happened, and Rello dropped to all fours to keep his balance in the rough waters. Then, the cherry came rolling down the side what remained of the ice cream. It was going to go right in the lake!
Rello quickly jumped to the closest chocolate block to the cherry and desperately grabbed the cherry’s stem as it fell into the lake. And here, gravity did most of the work. The momentum of the giant cherry carried it downward into the lake, making a large splash, but Rello firmly held the stem above water. There was a loud snap, and Rello was left holding the stem minus the actual cherry.
“That actually worked out surprisingly well.” Rello looked at where the cherry had landed in the ice cream. It didn’t float to the surface and he couldn’t see any sign of it. He was pretty sure he had made the right choice not trying to swim in this. Happy to have his makeshift oar, he began to move the block he was on across the lake until he reached more solid ice cream and from there resumed jumping from block to block. No further obstacles presented themselves on the mountain. It would seem the lake and the Abominable Snow Cone were the main threats.
Where the ice cream mountain ended, solid ground began again. Once more, there was a colorful trail made of stone for Rello to follow to his destination. First a forest, then a mountain. He wondered what awaited him next. And how many obstacles were left between him and the goal? He hadn’t started at the very beginning. The path had gone both ways when he stepped out onto it. He didn’t really know where the start was, but if he had to guess he would say it was the kid’s house. If that was the case, if that was where the kid got picked up by the school bus it meant he couldn’t have been too far from the start. Meaning he still had to go through the majority of the game. He could only wonder what would come next.
The answer turned out to be donuts.
The rainbow path dipped beneath the earth, going into a cave, in which the entrance was outlined by a giant glazed donut. As Rello entered the cave, he found the walls and ceiling covered in various different donuts, all with icing, and sprinkles that seemed to shine like crystals and create their own light. Donut Cavern. What was he going to have to do here? Would it be something simple like the forest where he just had to find his way out? Or was he going to be dealing with something ridiculous like the Abominable Snow Cone?
Rello continued through the cave, expecting something to happen. Maybe he’d find a donut shaped bear with bear claws. That would have tracked with what he experienced on the mountain.
When it finally happened, it was almost anticlimactic. And were it not for the fact that it posed serious threat to Rello’s life he might have taken the time to complain about it. There was no monster or strange challenge. Instead, as he made it about halfway through the cave, he heard a rumbling noise. Then looking back, he saw the donuts from the ceiling falling to the ground. The entire place was caving in.
Dangerous yes, but not exactly as creative as the rest of the world. Still, Rello was not going to have his eulogy be ‘Crushed by donuts.’ He broke into a full sprint, trying to get through the rest of the cave as fast as possible. The faster he ran, the faster the cave seemed to close in behind him. In fact, he was sure the falling donuts were getting closer to him. What was this? Some kind of rubber band difficulty? There wasn’t really time to think about it.
Rello tried to pick up speed, he could see the exit of the cave. But now, donuts were starting to fall from the room in front of him. He had to dodge left and right as they fell. He was almost there. The entrance exit was right there. Then, a giant donut fell down directly in the middle of his path, blocking the exit. Several smaller ones fell in on all other sides. Rello didn’t slow down even for an instant. He leaped, flying straight through the hole of the giant donut, landing outside the cave and rolling to the ground just as another mass of donuts collapsed sealing the cave off completely.
“I think I preferred the monster.” Rello got up and brushed himself off. That thing hadn’t really been able to threaten him. But still, done in by donuts was just too ridiculous and embarrassing of a way to go. He was going to ignore how close it had been when he made his escape. In fact, it was best not to think about it at all, and instead see what the next challenge was.
It turned out there was only one challenge left. And it was cake. Specifically, a large castle made out of marble cake. There was quite a bit of icing decorating the roof of it, giant pieces of candy shaped like cannons and ballistae mounted along the roof. The world seemed to end at the castle. The space beyond it, much like the sky looked like a drawing, making it seem as if the world just ended here. But the road continued into the castle. The goal was somewhere in there.
Rello didn’t see any sign of the boy here. He hurried towards the castle but stopped as his ears twitched, hearing a strange clicking sound. Then, there was a much louder boom, as one of the cannons made out of candy fired a giant jawbreaker straight at him. Then a ballista fired an enormous peppermint stick at him.
“Nothing can ever just be easy huh?” Rello muttered to himself. He broke into a run again, as more of the weapons were fired off at him. He leaped directly above a jawbreaker, as it impacted the ground leaving a small crater in the middle of the road. He weaved between peppermint sticks that stuck out of the ground after they barely missed him. Thankfully, as he got closer to the castle the bombardment became lighter. It seemed they couldn’t aim at anything that was directly in front of the castle, and so Rello was completely safe when he reached the front door.
This was it, it was time to go inside the castle, overcome whatever final obstacle was here, end this game, find the kid and change everything back.
Rello really hoped he was right about the kid probably heading for the goal. If he came all the way here and the kid was missing, he didn’t know what he was going to do next. It wasn’t as if he could go back the way he came after the cave in.
Once inside, the rainbow-colored stone road gave way to a rainbow rug. It let through several archways made out of candy canes. There were no side paths. There were doors and stairs that Rello passed. But all of them were just decorations made from icing. Once more the only way forward was to follow the game trail. Right up until he entered the throne room.
Here, the area opened up into a much wider room. A chandelier made from rock candy hung from the ceiling, while colorful hard candies lined the walls. Near the end of the room was the throne. It was made from an assortment of just about every candy type imaginable, all stuck together into a facsimile of a chair. The game trail went straight through the throne, beyond it and through a doorway in the back.
But as Rello approached the throne, both the door he came through, and the door he had been heading for slammed shut. Then, a bunch of small candies in wrappers that moves like the wings of the bats all flew into the throne room before settling around the throne. They slowly merged together, and a figure appeared sitting in the throne.
He was tall, gaunt thing. He almost looked human except for the pale skin and pointed ears. He wore a dark cloak made of interlacing black licorice, a formal shirt with gumdrop buttons and an ascot made from cotton candy.
“So you are the one who dares to take the throne of the Candy Kingdom?” The figure loudly stood up. “But this world can only have one ruler.”
“I really don’t care about ruling this place at all.” Rello replied with in an impatient tone.
“Fool! You did not really think it would be that easy did you! I will never give up the throne to a vagabond like you! The Candy Kingdom shall continue to tremble at my command and your journey will all be for naught!” As he spoke, his cloak billowed in the wind, despite there being no actual wind. Of the weird things happening in this world, it didn’t even register on Rello’s radar.
“And you are completely ignoring what I say.” Rello sighed. So, this was what, the final boss fight? But it was a board game. He doubted there were any in depth combat mechanics to a game about the Candy Kingdom. But… The wish had imprinted the game over reality. Just like with the Abominable Snow Cone this was likely to be an actual real fight.
“You, like so many before you will fall before the might of Count Cavity!” The man continued.
“Wait…” Rello gave the man a strange look. Something didn’t add up. Something aside from the fact this reality was completely insane. “Are you a count or a king?”
“Eh? What do you mean?” Count Cavity replied. “I, Count Cavity am the king of the Candy Kingdom.”
“But that’s not how that works.” Rello gave a confused shrug. “Count and King are two completely different things. They’re not even close. I mean, sure they’re both nobility; But a count isn’t even a duke, while the king is at the very top.”
“I… Don’t understand.” Count Cavity replied. “This is a very simple concept. I’m the King of the Candy Kingdom.”
“But you’re also a Count.” Rello rubbed his temples. “Is the Count position maybe from a different kingdom or government?”
“No you fool!” Count Cavity held his cloak up in front of him. “Count Cavity is the one and only Count of the Candy Kingdom.”
“So, you’re not a king.” As far as Rello could figure, the guy was going for some kind of candy vampire look. Which would explain why he wanted to be called a count.
“I am absolutely the king!” Count Cavity shouted.
“But if you’re the king you’re not a count.” Rello was now maybe having a bit of fun pushing this button. “Again, two very different positions with a vastly different amount of authority and responsibility.”
“When you become King of the Candy Kingdom, which you won’t, then you can tell people what title means what and does what.” Count Cavity replied.
“Ah, you’re one of those types of kings. You know, there’s usually a revolution when one of you are in power.” Rello paused. “I’m curious how they would make a guillotine out of candy.”
“You speak madness, but it will not save you!” Count Cavity shouted. “Enough talk, have at thee!” Then he just stood there, doing nothing.
“Um…” Rello looked around the room. “Are we supposed to be fighting?”
“We are already fighting!” King Cavity shouted. “And it is a battle of the ages! For you see… You must roll a five or six in order to defeat me! Otherwise, you will be forced to go back to the outside of the castle and come in again! It shall be a battle for the history books!”
“That’s all?” Rello looked around the room. “I don’t even see any dice.”
“You storm into my castle, face me, and don’t even bring your weapon?” Count Cavity scoffed. “Fine, I shall lend you a die of my own so that you can get your loss over with.” As he spoke, a die roughly the size of a football fell out of the air landing in front of Rello.
“Huh…” Rello picked up the die. It was pretty decently heavy. So… A 5 or 6 and it was over. That was a 1 in 3 chance. Still, if worst thing that happened was he just had to walk through the castle again. At this point, winning was inevitable. It kind of took the thrill out of it. Rello looked at the die, slowly shifting it in his hands until the six side was up. “Oops.” Rello let go of the die, letting it drop to the ground without actually rolling so that the six was still facing up. “How clumsy of me. I dropped the die and used up my roll just like that.” He didn’t even attempt to sound sincere. He said the entire thing in a deadpan voice.
“What… But… That’s cheating!” Count Cavity shouted.
“Can you point me to where a rule is in the book that says that?” Rello asked.
“Well… No, it’s not written!” Count Cavity huffed. “But that’s simply not how it’s done! Everyone knows that.”
“Well, don’t know what to tell you, because that’s just how it was done.” Rello gestured at the die. “The six is right there.”
“Curse you adventurer!” Count Cavity hissed and pulled his cloak up further to cover his face. “You may have won today through trickery! But we shall meet again… And I shall have my revenge… THE NEXT TIME YOU DECIDE TO PLAY!” Then with that he turned into several small cadies with bat-like wrappers which all flew away. The doors opened up.
“Well that was easy.” Rello headed through the door beyond the throne. Here he reached a dead end in a room that was fill with chocolate coins, all wrapped in golden foil. He wasn’t the only one in the room. There was a boy who was currently laying on his side. Rello was about 70% certain it was the boy from earlier.
“Uggggh.” The boy groaned.
“What’s wrong with you?” Rello looked down at him.
“I think I ate too much candy…” The boy complained. “But I came in first…”
“Because you were already here? Is that how it works?” Rello scratched his head. “Then why did I still have to fight the count who wishes he was a king?”
“You fought Count Cavity?” The kid sat up and gave a small laugh. “Why would you do that! Everyone knows Candy Kingdom you can just use secret entrance card to go straight to the final space!”
“What cards?” Rello gestured around.
“I’m sure they’re around here somewhere.” The boy replied. “They worked but…” He rolled over and groaned again. “Definitely ate too much.”
“Alright, yeah, see you’re not feeling well, let’s make this quick.” Rello began. “I sort of wasn’t really paying attention to what I was doing earlier and accidentally granted your wish. Yes, that’s a thing I can do, we don’t need to go into the details of the how and why right now. The important thing is the world is kind of broken, and it would be extremely helpful if you could wish everything back to normal.”
“Eh, wait, you did this?” The boy seemed confused. “Then why do you need me?”
“Because, granting wishes is really powerful magic, and not something I can just simply snap my fingers and undo. I need another wish to fix this. So just say the words and everything will be back to normal.”
“Well, what if I don’t want it to be!” The boy huffed.
“Well, I can’t force you to make a wish… But…” Rello’s ears twitched. “Judging by the moaning sounds you’re making, the next few hours are going to be very unpleasant for you unless we undo your previous wish.”
“Ugggh I did eat a lot of chocolate.” The boy complained. “I feel really woozy.”
“So… Just wish that your first wish had never been granted, and everything will be fine.” Rello insisted.
“But I don’t-“ The boy started to, then made a retching sound. “On second though… You promise I’ll feel better?”
“If your wish was never made, you never would have gorged yourself on candy.” Rello replied. “You’ll still remember it… But you won’t be sick.”
“So if I still remember… Then it’s like I got to eat all the candy without having to get sick?” The boy asked hopefully.
“Sure, if that gets you to make the wish let’s go with that.” Rello just wanted to be done with this.
“Fine… I wish my wish had never been granted.” The boy spoke.
“And there we go.” Rello felt the wave of magic released from him, this time on purpose. The candy palace vanished, and suddenly they were out in the middle of a school playground. The sky returned to normal, and after a few seconds everything was back to the way it was supposed to be.
“I feel better.” The boy replied excitedly.
“Good for you.” Rello turned to leave. The damage had been undone, there was no reason for him to be hanging around an elementary school.
“Who are you Mister?” The boy asked. “And how did you cause all that.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Rello waved a hand dismissively as he walked off. “Just consider yourself having learned some sort of life lesson or something.” With that Rello left the boy behind. He still didn’t know his name. But it didn’t really matter, the world was fixed. Now he could get back to doing nothing. After this mess, doing nothing sounded quite ideal.