Age regression story in which Calex needs Odin’s help to fight dinosaurs. But only small infants can fit through the portal to the magical land of totally real dinosaurs.
Brave Little Warriors
“Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin! Odin!” The orange werekitten ran on all fours darting down the hallway on all fours and into the office. Upon encountering the gray wolf he immediately leapt off the ground and pounced upon the wolf without breaking speed at all.
“Oof!” Odin grunted as he suddenly had an orange kitten clinging to his face.
“Odin! It’s an emergency! The worst of all scenarios! It has finally happened! This is the absolute worst thing that has ever happened in the history of history, of all the things that ever happened, NOTHING HAS EVER BEEN THIS BAD!” Calex shouted.
“Calex.” Odin groaned. “My face… Off.”
“Mew?” Calex looked at where he was, with his claws currently clinging to the sides of Odin’s head to hold him up to be eye level with him. “Oh sorry.” He withdrew his claws and fell to the floor landing just on two legs as he looked up at Odin now from knee level.
“Thank you.” Odin rubbed his face where the kitten had been clinging to him. “Alright now what is so urgent to warrant this kind of reaction?”
“Itwastheworstpossiblethingthatcouldhappen!” The kitten started excitedly, the words coming out of his mouth at a speed that may not have been entirely street legal. “AllatonceitwasgoneandtherewasnothingIcoulddoandthendinosaurs!”
“Whoa! Calex!” Odin patted a hand down on the kitten’s head. “Take a deep breath. Slow down and use your words. Now, tell me what’s wrong.”
“They stole your hat!” Calex screamed.
“WHAT!?” Odin reached up a hand to his head and patted around feeling only bare fur. His hat was indeed gone. “Calex!” He knelt down and grabbed the kitten by the shoulders and shook him. “Why didn’t you stress how bad the situation was!? This requires immediate action! Did you see who did it?”
“Dinosaurs.” Calex responded.
“Why would dinosaurs steal my hat?” Odin stared at Calex suspiciously.
“Because it’s snazzy?” Calex asked.
“Hmmmm.” The wolf stared at the kitten through squinted eyes while he carefully thought on this. “Story checks out. Okay where did they go!?”
“I saw where they went! In a spooky cave! Follow me!” He grabbed one of Odin’s hands and started trying to tug him into another room. Odin had to walk hunched over to keep a hold of the kitten’s hand without lifting him up. It didn’t take long for them to arrive. The kitten was only leading the wolf into the living room. Inside the room a large pillow and blanket form had been built that took up 90% of the room. There was only one apparent entrance to it a couple of blankets held up by a very small tunnel made from cardboard boxes. It was so small that it didn’t even look like Calex could quite fit into it. “They went in there!”
“Dang it.” Odin did some quick mental math. Kitten + Cardboard Box + Spontaneous Production of Elaborate Cardboard Constructions in the Living Room always meant trouble for him and he realized he had walked right into it. “Calex.” He spoke in a perfectly flat voice. “What did you do with my hat?”
“It’s in there!” Calex pointed down the tunnel even too small for him. “The dinosaurs have it! But there’s no possible way we could follow! We’re just too big. Even I would get stuck if I tried to squeeze in there.”
“And you’re saying dinosaurs went in there.” Odin replied.
“Yup! A whole bunch of them!” Calex replied with a grin that spread across his entire face.
“And my hat is in there?” Odin asked.
“Yup!” Calex responded.
“And you probably have some kind of brilliant idea on how we could get in there.” Odin said.
“Well.” Calex rubbed a paw against his chin. “I suppose, if I was a bit smaller… and you were a lot smaller… Hmmm. I bet we could fit in there if we were like baby sized or something.”
“I should have guessed.” Odin replied.
“But how would we… Aha!” Calex shouted. “Odin! You could do some science! And find a way to turn both of us into little infant cubs! Then we could easily crawl in there after the dinosaurs and save your hat! It’s the only possible way!”
“That seems like a terrible idea.” Odin responded. “I mean couldn’t we just…”
“The only possible way!” Calex repeated.
“But couldn’t we just-“ Odin started.
“The only way!” Calex interrupted him.
“Couldn’t I just take apart the blankets and-“
“THE ONLY WAY!” Calex shouted.
“Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.” The wolf replied. “I’ll play along if only cause I don’t want to see how this escalates if I don’t. Don’t expect me to admit to having fun though!”
“But you are having fun even if you won’t admit it?” Calex asked.
“What did I just say!?” Odin grumbled. “Alright fine! Maybe I can science something up, wait here. “ Odin started to walk back towards his own personal office. “
“Okay!” Calex called back. “Don’t forget you’d have to basically be a newborn to fit in there!”
“Of course I would.” Odin rolled his eyes as he slammed the door. What could have possibly been an hour passed, but more likely was about thirty seconds before he finally remerged holding two test tubes filled with clear liquid.
“Thank goodness! That took forever! Who knows how far they got.” Calex responded.
“Science cannot be rushed.” Odin replied as he approached the kitten. “Alright let’s get this over with. You first.” He turned one of the test tubes upside down and dumped it atop the kitten’s head,.
Immediately the kitten started to shrink. Being only six and a half years old to start with it wasn’t too obvious he was also getting younger as well. His features softened a little bit and his fur became a bit finer and puffier but it wasn’t until he toppled down off of two legs and onto all fours that it was obvious he was younger. He continued to shrink and regress for a little bit after losing the ability to walk on his hind legs until there was only a tiny little infant kitten barely anything more than a newborn crouched on all fours in front of Odin.
“Mew!” Calex mewled now being far too young to be capable of actual speech at this point.
“Awwww, you are pretty adorable like that.” Odin sat down the two test tubes carefully on the coffee table and then picked up the baby werekitten. “Maybe I should keep you like this more often huh? Could show off everyone how adorable a little baby werekitten.” Calex responded by purring happily and staring at Odin with bright innocent yellow-green eyes. “Nothing ever fazes you huh?” He sat down the kitten and picked up the test tube stilled with the clear liquid. “Well let’s get this over with.”
The wolf poured the final test tube over himself. Almost immediately he started to shrink into his clothes as his concoction took effect. The wolf disappeared completely into his coat and pants and as his clothing collapsed onto the ground he seemed to have completely vanished. A small lump moved underneath the pile of clothes though, and a couple of seconds later a nearly newborn wolf pup crawled out from underneath the pile; now just like Calex he was naked of everything except his bare fur.
“Mrowl!” Calex exclaimed excitedly as he saw the pup and crawled over and nuzzled against him. The baby wolf gave an irritated ‘woof’ but made no attempt to stop kitten’s nuzzling. After a moment Calex crawled towards the cardboard tunnel entrance and looked back at the wolf to make sure he was following.
The wolf reluctantly left his clothes behind after Calex as he crawled after him into the tunnel. Even as tiny infants the tunnels were cramped, and Odin suspected purposely so to prevent them from getting in otherwise. The cardboard tunnel eventually opened up into a larger canopy held up by a cardboard tube. In the middle of the large room were two small objects that Calex crawled over too.
“Mrowl mew meow!” The kitten gestured towards them excitedly.
“Woof?” Odin stared at the objects quizzically. They were two very small toy swords made of wood, perfectly sized for the two babies. The wolf studied them for a moment longer then gave the kitten a questionable look.
“Mrowl!” Calex picked up one of the swords, and proceeded to crawl further into the fort of blankets and cardboard with it.
“Wooooooooof.” Odin whined slightly, but went ahead and picked up the second sword and crawled after Calex.
The two crawled through another small tunnel, this one being made entirely out of blankets instead of cardboard. Eventually this one opened up into a large (compared to them) area that stretched on for awhile. A canopy overhead that might have been thick treetops, or possibly just green blankets covered the entire area. There were large walls running around the entire area that appeared to be made of cardboard and could possibly be holding up the green blankets if they were blankets. This would be quite impossible though, because the cardboard boxes were clearly actually just a line of trees in the distance. At first glance, it appeared to be a wall of cardboard that someone had drawn a bunch of trees on in crayon, and whoever had drawn those trees had made them an assortment of colors and not even bothered to color them in. However that simply could not be true. Someone had taken the time to write the words ‘Real trees. Not a crayon drawing’ on the cardboard box with a helpful arrow pointing at a pink tree. Since a wall clearly would never lie it must have been true.
The wolf pup gave the kitten such a look.
“Mrowl mew meooow mrowl!” Calex cried out while flailing about and ignoring the wolf’s look. This got Odin’s attention as he looked around and saw that they were now surrounded. It took a moment for Odin to process what they were surrounded by. There were five of them and… They were plushies! They were specifically chicken plushies! Little soft plush toys in the shape of chickens. At least, that’s what they appeared at first glance. Then he saw that someone had attached a helpful sticky note to the stomach of one of the chickens. The sticky note read ‘Velocity Raptor.’
Odin stared dumbfounded. There were so many things wrong with this situation. These were the dinosaurs? There were so many questions he wanted to ask. There were so many things he wanted to say. Velocity Raptors? Clearly, someone was going for a different term and didn’t know how to spell it! Everything about this was wrong and he had so many things to call out. Unfortunately, he was currently less than a month old and incapable of coherent speech!
“Woof.” Odin said instead expressing his annoyance at this encounter in one syllable.
“Mew!” Calex responded happily clearly not at all taken aback by the wolf’s reproach. “Mrow mew meow!” He gave a shout and pointed his toy sword at the ‘velocity’ raptors. Odin rolled his eyes and crawled forward on all fours dragging his toy sword before he slowly lifted it up and poked it against one of the ‘velocity’ raptors causing it to tip over. Calex in turn rolled onto his back so that he could use both hands to swing the sword with both harms and smacked one of the ‘velocity’ raptors in the head. There was a very soft thud before the raptor tipped over.
The battle raged! The two were no more than infants armed with nothing but wooden swords and in their birthday suits, but even when faced with the pure ferocity of actually not fake at all dinosaurs they didn’t balk. Odin crawled straight for one dinosaur and struck it in the stomach with his toy sword knocking it onto its side. Calex used his hind legs to push himself along the ground while he held his sword low to the ground with his hands slid it underneath another ‘velocity’ raptor and tipped that one over. There was only one left and maybe a lesser dinosaur would have chosen at this point to flee. However, this was a ‘velocity’ raptor. It was the most fearsome of all raptor breeds and so held its ground! Both Odin and Calex had to strike at the same time to take out the last one to knock it down.
The battle ended, the two infants stood, or more crouched on all fours, victorious. Odin looked around trying to find where the dinosaurs had taken his hat.
“Mrow mew!” Calex waved a paw in the direction of the far corner of the blanket fort.
There it was! Odin’s hat in all its floppy glory! It was so hard to find a hat that combined the exact right amount of flopyness with the perfect level of snazzyness. It was practically impossible! But this glorious floppy brown hat did it! It was practically a national treasure! By stealing it the dinosaurs had committed the worst possible crime! Yet, here it was! Safe and sound! It brought a tear to Odin’s eye. So beautiful.
“Woooooof!” Odin excitedly crawled in the direction of his lost hat ready to finally reclaim it. However! As he got closer he saw that there was one last foe defending the hat from its rightful owner! A massive Tyrannosaurs Rex! The T-Rex did not look like any mere plushie! Well it did look like a plushie! However it looked exactly like how a T-Rex plushie should look! This T-Rex couldn’t be a plush though, because it was as big as the kitten and the wolf pup combined.
Which did bring up a question of how it had apparently fled into tunnel the two infants could barely squeeze through.
However! It was so big and menacing! Menacingly soft! This had to be the big boss of all dinosaurs. However, the T-Rex had made one fatal mistake.
It had stolen Odin’s hat.
“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF!” The baby pup gave a battle cry and swung his sword with all his might striking the T-Rex in the leg. It didn’t fall over. “Woof?” Odin looked up at it in trepidation. Was it really that strong?
“MEOOOOOOOOOOOOW!” Calex gave his own battle shout and charged the T-Rex, or at least crawled slightly less slowly towards it and then rolled onto his back again and once more used both arms to swing his sword and strike the T-Rex.
The T-Rex swayed back and forth slightly. Then suddenly it lunged! (Definitely did not just fall over) It came down directly onto the baby werekitten! Landing on top of him and pinning the poor kitten!
“Mrow mewwww meooooow!” Calex lost his grip on his sword and flailed about but he was stuck under the T-Rex. He was completely at its mercy and it was only a matter of time now before the T-Rex finished him off. “MROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!” Calex shouted in panic.
The wolf stared at Calex in disbelief.
“MROOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!” Calex continued to cry in panic.
The wolf continued to stare, clearly unamused.
“MROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!” Calex continued to cry out.
“Woof.” Odin grumbled, then finally acted.
They stole his hat! And now they tried to hurt his werekitten! The dinosaurs had gone too far! Twice now! Odin wasn’t about to let this stand! He acted! He pushed his sword against the ground and he started to rise onto two legs. His body might have been too weak to stand on two legs properly but using the sword to support his weight he was able to rise up onto his legs. Then in one motion he brought the sword up and he swung, or it might be more accurate to say he fell down! However with the added momentum from gravity behind his sword swing he fell into the T-Rex sword first! The large dinosaur was knocked off the kitten and rolled along the ground before stopping completely motionless face down on the ground.
“WOOF!” Odin told the T-Rex off as he stood on his hands and knees victorious over the dinosaur.
“Mew!” Calex got back up onto his hands and knees and crawled over to Odin happily. He was clearly satisfied that the wolf pup had saved him from the big scary dinosaur. Odin instead just shot him an annoyed look apparently not taking the same level of amusement from the situation.
Odin crawled over to his hat to examine it. He finally had it back! However like this he couldn’t possibly wear it on his head. He was far too small and puny as a mere infant to ever try to wear it. Like this he could crawl into it!
Well! It was his hat! So he did just that. The hat was upside down on the floor so the wolf pup crawled over the brim of it and landed inside the hat. He rolled onto his back and laid down with his head laying on the brim of one side and his legs and tail hanging over the brim on the other. He crossed his arms and lay their grumpily that this was the closest he could come to wearing his hat.
“MEW!” Calex crawled into the hat with Odin, squirming in to get close to the wolf pup and rub up next to him.
“Woof.” The pup responded to the kitten’s sudden intrusion. However he paused for a moment as the kitten leaned forward and gave the wolf an affectionate lick on the cheek as if to thank him for the day. Only then did the wolf relax and he cuddled up closer to the werekitten. Even after this though he kept a perfectly flat expression on his face.
It wasn’t until several minutes later when he heard the werekitten’s breathing slowed as he slipped into sleep that the wolf finally smiled to himself. He gave a big puppy yawn and settled down to sleep next to a kitten reaching a hand over and holding the kitten’s paw as he nodded off to sleep. Of course being a mere infant he couldn’t talk; so he couldn’t possibly be accused of admitting to anything.